With female independence on the rise, more women are taking charge of their lives and embarking on solo trips or dating themselves. The self-love movement certainly is refreshing amidst the patriarchal problems, but after experimenting myself in going solo, I find there is one thing what many miss: sharing experiences.
Society promotes the idea of being alone as a terrible way to live life, especially for women, so there is such power in going out and doing activities you want to do by yourself.
Special movie screening tonight and your bae is busy or nonexistent? Go and have all the popcorn to yourself. Special event in the next town over and your friends are busy? Drive yourself, jam out to your favorite tunes as loud as you want, and have a wonderful time.
The idea that we have to people with us is all in our heads. In the wild, animals with social structures generally stay together for survival, and humans are not much different. Communities grew out of people banding together in order to structure life, and while we may not need each other as much for survival today, the background of staying together did not go out of heads.
A journey for yourself is full of self-discovery, because you have to listen to only yourself. As social creatures, we cannot help but also become people pleasers in some moments, and if you’re on a trip with friends, it is possible to take their request or needs over your own for the sake of harmony. A solo trips means every decision is up to you, whether you want to sleep in or going on ten-mile hike.
Now, onto that one thing not many solo travelers mention.
Picture this: a young woman in Paris, visiting the gardens at the Palace of Versailles, where there is a grand canal. There are people in outdoor seating restaurants, friends laughing around a picnic, parents warning their children about the swans — and then there’s her, trying to enjoy a lemon ice cream, because she was confident it would be a sweet lemon flavor.
It is in that moment I had wished I had someone to laugh about my inflated confidence, even though the women who sold me the ice cream warned me it was bitter.
I have been lucky and blessed enough to go overseas, and while I traveled with larger groups, I have had the opportunity to have solo adventures. There were moments I discovered things about myself that I may not have if it weren’t stepping outside my comfort zone. I have enjoyed those moments, where I am the decider of a journey – even taking it back to my hometown to explore the parts I didn’t know.
However, when I recount to friends or family of these experiences, I find there is a gap of connection. Telling stories to bridge the experience and the audience is a difficult task. If your storytelling experiences aren’t up to par, people have trouble understand or putting themselves in the story.
Reflecting back to my experiences, I still enjoy them as treasures for myself, but there are some that I wish I had one person or another to share the beauty or laughter of the moment.
It is a little setback for a greater experience, but it is important to talk about in a world that is increasingly getting more separated from each other. Anxiety is more common with younger generations, and it drives some from making new relationships. Sharing experiences of travel or hometown adventures can cultivate friendships or romances.
While independence is a wonderful trait, checking to make sure you’re not isolated is just as important.
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