Many people in college end up meeting their significant other, but what if they just happen to live in Iowa or Timbuktu? Physical closeness and sex play a crucial part in relationships, and long distance relationships may seem impossible at times. But if you and your partner are willing to put in work, they can still be successful. Here are a few tried-and-true tips to keep your LDR strong.
Sharing your feelings is an important part of any relationship. Being in a LDR means that you have to rely on words to express how you feel in the place of physical forms of affection. Communication can make or break a LDR — make sure to be honest with your partner and share your thoughts and feelings often. Open communication is always the way to go.
When you are apart from your partner most of the time, sharing your day can make you feel closer. Apps like Snapchat make it very easy to connect to your partner throughout the day and make them feel close to you. While they may not need to know all the details — like what your cat ate for dinner — keep them updated. They care about how your day goes.
Always try to plan to see each other as much as possible. Whether it’s a day trip or a Skype call, this keeps the relationship upbeat when both partners look forward to seeing each other. They may not be lengthy plans, but the excitement of getting to see your significant other is a positive element of an LDR.
Focus on the Positive
When you are constantly apart, it’s easy to slip into the mode of focusing on the negative aspect of the relationship: the distance. Focusing on the negative, often uncontrollable, aspects of the relationship can make it feel like it’s not worth it. Instead, think about the good qualities of your LDR and partner. Remind each other of the good times to come, and write out the things you miss about them to remind yourself and show them later.
A handwritten letter or note can go a long way. Don’t be afraid to send your partner something that lets them know they are on your mind. Even flowers or small gift is great to send and receive. If you get to visit your partner often, try slipping a cute note somewhere they will find it later. This is a great way to show that you are thinking of them, and even a small gesture can speak volumes.
LDR relationships tend to suffer when one or both partners don’t stay connected. Come up with activities you can share together like watching the same TV show, playing a game, or even both indulging on Taco Tuesdays. This help you connect with your partner and share feelings and experiences on the same thing.
Even though LDRs have a lot of this involved already, understand that everyone still needs their own personal space. Don’t be too clingy or over-communicate, because the relationship can begin to feel like a burden rather than an outlet. Try to find the happy medium.
Just because your partner is not with you all the time doesn’t mean that you should consider yourself free from the boundaries of relationships. This means respecting your partner and being loyal. Don’t put yourself in situations that can lead to cheating or violating the commitments of your relationship.
With the lack of physical touch, especially sex, it can be easy to lose the spark in a relationship. There are many creative ways to keep the flame alive. Find unique ways to let your partner know that although you aren’t together, you are still attracted to them and you can’t wait to be with them again.
Don’t forget that at the end of a day, a LDR is only successful when both partners are equally committed and have the same end goal in mind. You can’t force a relationship to be successful. Give your relationship your best effort, make sure your partner is doing the same and your relationship will be worth it.