The jingle bells are ringing, and it’s that time of the year when you are tyrannically reminded to level up your situationship.
Sure, dating platforms are waving goodbye to free services, but fearless Zoomers are opting to escape the online dating maze for real-life encounters. With the 80s dating stage making a comeback, it might be high time to figure out what makes your heart race.
Forget waiting for Santa to work his magic; here’s the lowdown on relationship science to help you snag someone for that mistletoe moment.
Do you think physical attractiveness and passionate love are not important? Get ready for a reality check because, despite years of theorizing, men and women seem to value physical attractiveness in potential partners about the same. At least in the early throes of a relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, the notion that men are the only champions of emphasizing physical attractiveness has been chucked into the bin of outdated clichés. The supposed sex difference observed when rating the attractiveness of photos of strangers vanishes once people meet face-to-face, whether
it’s for a brief encounter or decades of marriage.
What’s passionate love you may ask? Let’s crack open the dusty tomes where relationship scholars wax poetic about its good vibes—a state of intense longing for union with another.
Similar to physical attraction, passionate love seems to be biologically linked in everyone. Cue in on the neuroimaging of the desire to be one, where brain regions that are related to intense rewards light up like a Vegas strip.
Like a timeless classic, passionate love transcends cultural boundaries, uniting the amorous experiences of
East Asians, North Americans and everyone in between. Unsurprisingly, these intense feelings, whether for someone of the same or the opposite sex, are our neurologically universal language. Apart from being instinctually attracted to that special someone, keeping up with caring for them is a tidbit you should keep in your back pocket.
What’s crucial, according to relationship scientists, is what you do for your partner and what they do for you. It’s like algebra, but with feelings. Solve this: when the ratio of your outcomes to inputs in a relationship is equal to that of your partner, it leads to happiness squared. Delving into bidirectional reciprocity gives us profound insights into the intricate art of partner maintenance.
With the holidays right around the corner, do something for that special someone and let them do something for you—and keep doing it. Exchange dynamics is a telltale sign of a strong bond.
Relationship experts were already on the case of lasting liaisons with two models of relationships. The stress diathesis model of relationships proposes that a partner’s acceptance of you can improve relationship satisfaction through enhanced self-esteem. The Similarity/Attraction Theory suggests that a partner is more likely to be preferable if they share similar important attitudes (e.g., home and family) than those that are less important (e.g., fabric softeners).
Affirmative partnership and common attitudes corroborate personal beliefs, foster routine predictability and fuel endless attraction. In fact, it’s one of the most important factors when considering potential partners.
Believing you’re more likely to be attracted to others with whom you share similar physical attractiveness and value systems isn’t rocket science. But it’s reassuring to be scientifically validated.
In this Holiday season of romantic choices, the ultimate question looms: Am I going to be forever alone? Fear not, for you are the grand marshal of your love parade who can spectate the herd of bewildering emotions and expeditiously march to the next amorous point.
After all, you are a Cougar! The power to decide the next course rests in effortlessly using relationship science to meet that special someone at the next holiday party. Your situationship might soon feel like an emotional enchantment, a bartering of giving and receiving or an attitude alignment during the tinkering festive lights.
So, dear reader, wish wisely, for in this world of holiday love, the psyche is your oyster.
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