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Hey Fall 2020,

It’s me, a Coog.

We’ve been going at this for a while, and I think it’s time we finally took action.

It’s been a few months, but I think it’s safe to say that we are straight up, not having a good time out here. We keep going back and forth; I keep saying “this can’t get any worse”, and you keep challenging that, saying “Bet, here’s some more bad news”. Alas, how much more can I deal with?

You just keep throwing way too much at us and it’s getting difficult to keep up. I know this isn’t right, but I have to list out your grievances. Not because I want to call you out for it, but because I want you to learn.

There is literally a pandemic

I have voiced this before, and I will voice it again. This is something I already struggled to deal with because of my ex (Spring 2020). They blew it on us right when things were going great, and honestly, I saw a glimmer of hope in you. Turns out, you were just like all the others.

Everything is online

Okay, buddy. My blue light glasses can only block out so much eye strain. I would like just some physical interaction. I would like just one time in a week where I can hang out with my friends in an actual, outdoor setting. You KNOW that I am a hugger, and I cannot hug a single person (Zoom hugs don’t count). Physical touch is my love language, and frankly, I am not feeling the love.

I am a waste of space and time because of you.

When you first introduced me to your friend, Tik Tok, I thought to myself “OH! A new friend, I can’t wait to get to know them.” Nevertheless, your friend did me SO. DIRTY. I cannot stop staring at Tik Tok. I have fallen into pits of office supply hoarding or tarotscope readings. I am discovering things about myself I never wanted to discover in the first place. All this, and I cannot let go. Every time I start being productive, 10 minutes later I’m watching Newt on Tik Tok top a brownie with parsley? Your friend has done me so dirty, and I will never forgive you for this.

You took Ruth Bader Ginsburg

THE AUDACITY?? This woman has done so much for me and my kind (women), and you really had to take away this wholesome spirit from our government system. I only hope that she rests in peace.

Quite honestly, I see only one positive from our relationship, and it’s the release of the music video for Golden by Harry Styles.

In conclusion, it’s not me, it’s you. I am leaving you for Winter 2020 where I can find cozy vibes, holiday spirit and hope for a new beginning. I would say it’s been a fun ride, but frankly, it hasn’t.

I hope we do not stay in touch and that you find a solution to this mess.

Sincerely,

A tired Coog.

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