I couldn’t wait until I could wear makeup. My mom always “had a face on.” She loved the freedom of being able to recreate herself whenever she felt like it. Coincidentally, she even went back to school for some cosmetology classes. As her youngest daughter, I was amazed by all that she did, but I was mostly fascinated by her “dress up” routine. She was a diva of all sorts, and well, she still is.
I remember just gawking at her while she would slowly drag the brush across her face. The different shades of eye shadows, lipsticks and eyeliner. I’d sneak into her bathroom and try them on to satiate my hunger for becoming a “woman.”
This was all until I hit 13. This is when my mom began to think that it was appropriate to buy me some basic makeup material; blush, lip gloss,and if I was lucky, mascara. I was so excited to dress up and put on a face that wasn’t mine.
Although I never thought that this would happen to me, makeup became an easy way to hide myself. I was always so confident as a kid. I’d walk down the hallway with my denim overalls and yellow shirt, curly hair pushed back into pigtails
It was clear that as the months passed by, I became more reliant on blush to make my cheeks rosier, lip gloss to make my lips look fuller, or mascara to make my eyes pop. I no longer was comfortable in my own skin. In reality, I was just growing up. I just didn’t know it. . How did I let something fun and exciting like makeup control my life?
“Growing up” meant that I had to become uncomfortable with myself. The way my hair would frizz, how my eyebrows couldn’t just grow in a singular path, and my extremely dysfunctional teeth. I thought that since I looked best with concealer and mascara that that’s how I should look all the time. I constantly wanted to “look my best”. I didn’t know that it would slowly diminish my confidence.
It only took me 6 years to learn that makeup could be a source of expression and enjoyment rather than a way to hide behind my imperfections. I learned that I didn’t love makeup because of how it made me look, but rather how it made me feel.
Makeup gave me the opportunity to display my creativity and colorful personality. The makeup community has also given me and many others the opportunity to meet people and to share ideas with them. And thankfully, makeup is no longer only “designed” for white women, but for all genders and races. On the flip side, it also has showed me that I have NO skill compared to those people, so thanks Instagram/Youtube/Twitter!