So, you’re poor. No need to lie, I am too. This is college, after all. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to make a statement at an upcoming Halloween party in a unique fit. And while you’re at it, why not show some school pride? These next five UH inspired costumes can be yours today with a little bit of creativity, a LOT of confidence and about $5.
- Kim K at the MET Gala, but make it cougar red
Take advantage of Target’s seasonal trinket aisle for a plush red blanket for only $5. Then take it home, add some strategic pins and accessorize to your heart’s content. The original outfit was terrifying enough, but this one is arguably scarier. You don’t want me showing up in your dorm at 3 a.m. wearing this, do you? *shudder*
2. A cougar
Ya woo. It’s a cougar. I do not have the budget for a full fursuit like the ones we see at the game, but I DO have enough for a couple of sheets of 23 cent felt and a couple of bottles of paint. Have you ever seen photos of old Disney mascots? Creepy, huh? Well, you’ll be sure to fit right in with a costume like this.
3. The other kind of cougar
We don’t talk about her, or the unfortunate name we share. But the wig was $3 at Walmart, and I’m sure you already own the rest.
4. A Starship robot
Our beloved campus robotic food delivery fleet has certainly earned our love. I’ve seen more than a few fully-grown students stop to pet a robot as it passes. No shame, they’re cute. The poster board is 50 cents at the Dollar Tree, and paint is something you either already have or can easily acquire. Best of all, according to the absolutely reputable news source @thecrookedcougar, they are completely peaceful after their reprogramming following a few… incidents. But you don’t really believe that, do you? Open a history book. When does the loser of a war not seek retaliation? We naively take food from these robots as they bid their time, planning a violent revolt. Call me crazy, but the A.I. wars are coming, and they start with the Starship.
TRIGGER WARNING – This next one isn’t for the faint of heart.
5. Your student loans
I know, this one may be taking it a little too far, but tell me it’s not scary! They get bigger every year and the economy isn’t getting any better. The elders aren’t retiring to make way for you, and the pandemic is certainly guiding us into another recession. Bro. You’re screwed. Employment who? The only thing you can expect is your loans and interests getting closer and closer. You can run, but you can’t hide. You can find a white sheet anywhere, and the fact you get to get some mere use out of your over priced regalia is just another bonus.